Learn why people trust wikiHow. Download Article Explore this Article parts. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Part 1. Ask friends and family for their honest opinion. This knowledge will help you know how to approach the situation in a positive way. Try seeing things from her perspective. Practice having the conversation with others.
Have someone play the part of the girl and have them ask questions about the situation. Then you will be ready to answer her when you talk and this will help your confidence so that you can remain cool under pressure. Do this with a trusted family member or friend.
It would not be advisable to do this with someone who is her friend. Try to involve someone who only, at the most, knows her through you. Pride can destroy relationships. Vulnerability is key to fixing relationships.
Be patient. Sitting tight and letting her process emotions at her own pace shows that you are mature and respect her as an individual. Part 2. Plan the talk at a calm time for both of you. It can be easy to avoid talking about something for too long. While this may seem acceptable at the time, it will hurt the relationship in the long run. A healthy relationship is worth the work. Give her a call. This sets up the talk as a combative one; Instead of going into it vulnerable, you will both have your defenses up.
When you bring up the possibility of talking about the issue, give her a way out so that she can refuse if she needs more time. I think it was because i am from England and some scots dont like the English i have recently been back to Glasgow to see friends and sometimes i did notice that the Glasgowians dont like English people i was looked at funny way and some people from Glasgow had made some sniddy remarks about where i came from.
There was once a time i was in asdas with a friend of mine who got me a coffee from a machine and this woman came from no where and snatched the coffee from me and said this is my coffee get your own i was mortified it spolit the day for me.
Politeness and manners in my eyes dont cost anything i was taken aback by some people rudeness in Glasgow. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am dealing with the same issue. I take care of everything around the house and errands. He makes time for what he wants to do and very little time if non for what I want. He has begun to insult me telling me I am not doing enough around the house. I am not certain what else I can do. I feel like I am living his life, a supporting character to his story.
I thought that what I was doing around the house was in support of his career and schooling and would be temporary. Now I am starting to feel like this is what he expects from me.
I feel like he thinks I owe him this because he makes the most money. I was starting two new jobs that I was excited about before the virus and was not going to need to really on him so much, but now with the virus I feel like I am being treated like a servant.
The big issue is that I have tried to discuss the issue of inequality of household and life duties and it always turns into be an argument. I could really use some help with how to approach a conversation in a more productive manner. She always makes statements like i got better clothes then you my moblie phone is better then yours she also says shes better then anybody else its dragging me down. We went on holiday together last year and she reduced me to tears with her inappropriate commets and remarks she said to me and others on the coach holiday we both went on.
She was so bossy and rude to me while on this lovely holiday. Ive known her since school i am 13 months older then her to.
I have told her numberous of times about her behaviour and shes to speak to me in a respectful way. She has got other friends and they all said they dont go on holiday with her she can be really disrespectful and really rude to other friends. I injured my knee few years ago and because i couldnt climb up some steps she was making chicken noises to me and completely embrassed me in front of others shes always been quite disrespectful to people and to her family to.
Her dad pulled her up once about her behaviour while at her mum and dad house she said something behind her parents back and was pulling faces and sticking fingers up at them her dad knew this and he really had ago at his daughter in the kitchen in front of me she does really disrespect her mum and dad name calls them behind their backs its beyond awful i wouldnt dream doing this to my parents.
She will say things to me like dont talk to me talk to my hand and she will do this to her parents to. Shes had warnings at work to she works in a after school club and their been some parents and staff complaining about my friend attitude and behaviour at work.
She still lives at home with her mum and dad even her dad has warned her in the past about her behaviour her dad said that she wont be living here if she continues with this behaviour shes not brought up like it and she is to respect her parents. Shes 37 but yet shes makes really nasty remarks and shes had some of her friends like me in tears and walking away from her until she calms down. Ive known her from the age of She can be really nice person and asks how i am and how my family are but other times she can be really mean and disrespectful.
We have all told her about her behaviour on different times and days. Her manager and supervisor mum and dad have also told her about her behaviour they find it nasty and mean but yet she still does it. I wouldnt dream of speaking to people in the way my friend does. Labels are important when dealing with Narcissism in particular Malignant Narcissism. I would like to see much more written about this disorder. It is vital that people know the signs,manipulation and utter cruelty that a narcissist will inflict.
They cannot change so please learn and leave now. My sister was murdered by her narcissistic husband 11 months ago. Luckily he killed himself directly after. Upon researching his computers and what was googled he had planned this for close to a year.
Run from a narcissist. It could save your life. Times have changed as far as families. I reached out to my sister after a year. I sent her photos of the grandkids. She sent me articles on social security. She proceded to ask how much I draw each month.
Wow, same old sister. She always has an agenda, not a good one. I decided at that point I would just end it permanently.
When she called me I was cold to her, not rude. Of course she told the rest of the family about it. How can u explain to the other family members how manipulative she is? Not my style. Any opinions? This same brother-in-law lived in my home a few years ago after my sister literally begged me to give him a place to live because his mother threw him out, and he was 40ish at the time.
She told me he was down on his luck and convinced me to let him stay with me until he got back on his feet. That never happened. I was shocked when I spoke to my dad after a few months, because he told me of the horrible gossip this man was telling my family about me. Then, after leaving my job last year and my fund paid out, she asked for money sometimes thrice in a month. I finally did ask for my money back, but I was told she thought it was a gift.
Then it occurred to me. My sister denies her husband told her to ask me for money constantly, but this particular behaviour started after she got involved with him and its clearly escalated. I loved your article. It was very helpful in how we can let others manipulate us when we have good hearts. I know for a fact change from our toxic up bringing has to start within us to stop the cycle of being attracted to toxic people even carrying out this behavior if it was instilled in us from our past relationships.
I am in a new relationship for 13 years it has been so hard because in the beginning everyone tried to ruin me now everyone wants me to forget the past and have a friendship with them which is hard because 2 are his sons and the other 2 are his parents. It was shocking. He keeps on doing it — even asking for a brand new motorcycle and he does not like to be challenged. When he stays here he will not flush the toilet, empty an ashtray and complains about the food and crushes cigarette butts on the drivewAY.
Yup toxic is an understatement. I would confront the son, but be as nice as possible. Cook a meal he likes, or take him out to a place he wants to go to. Then just tell him how you feel. Ask him if he can meet you half way by trying to pick up after himself, and at least flushing the toilet.
Sometimes when you go out of your way for your family, eventually they come around. I am not saying break your back, but it sounds like he has serious issues just as the way you described him. Maybe he needs psychological help? Maybe when he gets the help, he can change his behavior?
I wish this article had existed when I was in 3rd-6th grade. I was friends with a toxic girl. She was manipulative, and she actually did something that is considered in some places to be emotional abuse. She used me like a puppet, pulling at my strings, putting words in my mouth and ideas in my head.
She had no respect for my wants or needs and acted as though I owed her something. She would become angry when I took time for myself or to spend time with my other friends and would spread rumors and lies that I had beat her up or abused her so no one would be my friend except for her.
She made me feel guilty for everything that went wrong in her life, and had me constantly paranoid and guilt-ridden about what I had done to upset her this time, apologizing for being my own person. How come people are becoming toxic when marrid together for a long time;getting toxic is typicasl for a couple in the second part of life…. My younger sister is extremely toxic.
She will do anything to win an argument — even if she has to destroy me in the process. If I respond, she talks over me — shouts over me.
If she clashes with me about anything, she calls my brothers and poisons them against me — to the extent that they label me as the problem person, even though the complaints and poison are coming from one source — my sister. I constantly have to hang up on her when she starts yelling at me on the phone. I have a right not to engage with her abuse. When we argue, I ask her to stop and she says no and ratchets up the abusive attacks — even attacking what I do for a living.
She is a supreme gaslighter and bully. She has pretty much isolated me in our family and I am convinced she wants to destroy me. It breaks my heart. When she is going off; keep your cool, or even laugh it off. As long as you are consistent with your family, and treat them all with respect; they should do the same. Hello — I lost my husband of 30 years to cancer in July of and in October a guy I dated in high school he got a divorce and was married for almost 30 years so I thought this would be perfect he knows all about being in a relationship got ahold of me and we started to date — at first it was great.
Plus I have not dated in over 30 years. He would text me everyday telling me how much he loved me — he taught me to golf — we did everything together I felt like we were best friends.
He would apologize things would be ok until the next time. Issues were never resolved. In between all of this he would do and say the greatest things Jekyll and Hyde you never knew what you were going to get. It would be good for a month then it would start again.
This man borrowed money from me has a great job — I loaned it because we were in a relationship I thought was serious he constantly talked about spending his life with me and marriage so what was mine was his and vice versa.
At my house everyday — but he was getting worse and I was doing nothing I thought to receive this kind of treatment. Everything in this article is him!! It has taken me just a lil over a year to finally end it — I went to his house and tried to amicably end it with him totally ignoring me and calling me the worst names imaginable and saying to get the fuck out — all I kept thinking was OMG this would have been my life if I stayed with him this man would have treated me this way everytime we got in an argument — I always felt like nothing was ever resolved.
I left feeling hurt still loved the guy? And not once did I want to call him a name like he was calling me.
Crazy — how can I miss someone that treated me horrible. And this is not everything!! As much as it hurts you have to get out and start replacing him with new things. You said she takes pain meds? Well that an issue there as is sounds addict behavior. Put that foot down? It was as though this article was written specifically for my vile mother-in-law.
She behaves despicably at every occasion with me but will deny her actions and words at every turn. Her and her insecure daughter are in need of some kind of constant validation from the world at all times and it is really scary. I will not be walked over anymore by a woman so desperate to play the victim in every scenario and who is so sickening to behave the way she does yet call herself a Christian.
She is sickening and vile and I am so disappointed in myself for taking this long to stand up for myself. Goodbye wench. Hoping to not see you on the other side.
Different situation, same BS! Sadly, that entire family was the same way including my ex. It took several years for my eyes to finally open up and understand that it will only get worse before it gets better. In my case, the day my divorce was finalized was the BEST day of my life! I had my freedom back to laugh and enjoy a sunny day just because I can. If the past decade taught me anything…it was to never ever think or become anything like them.
Not only did I stand up to Satan herself, I also walked away without regrets or looking back. Three years have passed now since my divorce and I am thankful every day I made that choice. I am glad I took it. I wish you nothing but the best! I was shocked to hear that she would say something like that to my face. Why would she spread lies that arnt true? The only reason I am still breathing is because I no that Jesus is with me and that The lord has something better planned for me.
Wow the amount of confusion and always trying to get love from him, but he would never give me the approval I need no matter how much I try to make him happy from me he would always have something negative to say. I would get forced to clean and do things he wants me to and if I ever say no or tell him that he is wrong he would get angry and verbally and physically abusive.
He always has to be the center of attention. Ever since I was around 8 I had police no my family name personally due to the amount of times my parents tried to get rid of him as he physically, emotionally, mentally abused my family and I. I have to to court more times then I can think.
I guess he had goood lawyers or I was stupid enough to drop every case because it would break my mums heart to see her son in jail. She had always enabled him and would always speak for him to try my excuses.
I still remember having my school teacher asking why I have a black eye and me saying I went in a pole. Every birthday I ever had was him alway making me cry or forced cleaning the house. Even his wife has left him but stupid enough she cane back to him. My mum alway makes excuses for him. She is an enabler she could of stopped all this , but no she always blames the victim.
I am scared that I might have traits of a toxic person as I force my younger sister to clean her room and am very bossy and controlling but I always feel bad and wrong that I start to feel really bad and gross. I know I am disgusting for doing that to my younger sister. I always have to ask am I really alive. I have a lot more things that I have been through but this is the only alittle bit of my life.
I wish you could have received the love you needed as a child. Keep fighting for you. You deserve love and happiness. Hi Numb, What you said has really touched me and I just want you to know that there are many people out here who understand and have been through much of what you have.
The fact that you already know God has a plan for you is a huge step in your healing, I am proof of that. The simple fact is that you have survived this far in your life and I know that you can make it the rest of the way. But right now in your life, you have to take care of you and if that means you have to cut that family away so that you can find healthy way of life, so that you can learn what it is to be free, that has to be the most important thing for you.
If you are not healthy in your own self, how can you help anyone else? It sounds selfish I know, but you are worth it, you are so worthy of being loved, of being treated like the good human being that you are and the most important person in your life right now is you. And then do the same for yourself. Get yourself healthy, get away from these people and start taking care of who you are.
The rest will happen the way it is suppose to. Hurt people hurt other people, so fix your hurts and stop the cycle of abuse in your life. Then you can be a powerful advocate for many other people in situations like yours. And you have as much right to happiness as anyone else on this earth. I can see you have a good heart, I can see that you have worth in this world, but now you need to see it too. And sometimes you have to turn your back on everyone else in order to save yourself.
Only when you are safe, can you bring others to safety. Change your name to Living, and get rid of Numb. You can do this. Hi guys, i hope you are all well. I need some help. I have been in a relationship for what will be 5 years in June this year. He proposed to me after a year of being together and then after that we moved in together.
He always prioritized his friends and put them first. In December i fell pregnant with our baby and i told him. He did not react the best and his first suggestion was to get an abortion.
We wer leaving to visit my mom on the 24th and we found out on the 22nd and he wanted to get rid of the baby before we even left. This broke me because i did not want that, i didnt expect him to react in that way and he always promised he would never to that to me as its what my ex put me through. He started making a whole lot of demands about how I needed to change if I wanted the baby and i need to let him do whatever he wants and i cant complain and i need to fix my anxiety problem.
The above was difficult to take in considering i dont have proper contr6of ky anxiety and i didnt know how to fix myself. He basically made me choose between the baby and him. I fought him and tried to buy time so we ended up going to visit my mom without getting it done. But he did not want to speak about it with me at all, it made me feel like i was just a problem and an ugly part of life he wanted to forget.
He also made it seem like a purposely fall pregnant as i was on the pill at the time and that made me feel even more horrible. When we got back from my kom inwas convinced its what i needed to do because i love him nd i didnt want to lose him because of my condition so I decided the best was to have the abortion. He avoids the baby topic at all costs and never wants it to happen. He is always on his phone. Everytime i speak to him about my hearts desires i cant as he will not properly understand and try to find a way forward with me.
The relationship is always about what he wants and according to his own time line. I feel unheard and this makes me angry and sour towards him.
He will twist everything to make it my fault. He leaves his dirty cups, shoes, clothes laying around the house and i have to chase after him and clean up because i hate a dirty place. I love him sooo much, i always think back to the old days and I have regrets of my own mess ups. I constantly feel like i just mess up. I always suggest but nothing ends up happening.
I feel i am not appreciated, he gave up treating me the way i feel I deserve and i cant stop hating myself as i believe it is all my fault. He ignored me ever since and i confronted the situation and he complained, i ended up telling him how I feel but we just fought and nothing gets solved. Hey Pam , I know I am currently going through the same thing with my older sister. I have no one to talk to and music is my only once of hope. Just know you are not alone. Hi I feel what you saying.
Let go and leave him or anyone who supports him. You are better off without him. Be cute or funny. Apologize as you would in person, and promise to be a better boyfriend. With patience and lots of understanding. Listen to what she has to say without being in a rush to counter her. Someone has to maintain a cool head so let that be you whether or not she flares up.
More importantly, I hope you got a few points, at least, that you can use the next time your girlfriend is mad at you. As always, please leave a comment and share the article if you liked it.
Your email address will not be published. Is your girlfriend furious at you? Are you wondering what you can say to calm her down? Are you desperate for forgiveness? Does there appear to be no way to turn this around? Should I come over so you can spank me? Stop being mad at me, please. Please give me another chance to prove this was a misunderstanding. Please forgive me? For better or worse, remember? What can I do to make it up to you? Can we kiss and make up already? Now, will you please smile back at me?
I miss it. Plan a little surprise 1. Clear your schedule to spend quality time with her 1. Never again, babe. I promise. Nothing 1. Give her a hug 1. Absolutely do not tell her to calm down 1. How do you make an angry girlfriend happy over text? How do you respond to an angry girlfriend?
What should I say when my girlfriend is sad? What to say to get her in bed? Related Content. Michelle Devani.
My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since
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